Mahiru Koizumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
photonement) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
funpark2014-10-15 09:19 am
photonement) wrote in funpark2014-10-15 09:19 am
Non-Chore CR Meme
(A Cheat Sheet for CR Charts)
♥ Step one: post with your characters.
♠ Step two: respond to other people's characters with your characters.
♦ Step three: they tell you in detail what their character thinks of your character. TL;DR is encouraged; that's how this works.
♣ Optional step four: discuss it with them if you want! Make a big chain of tl;dr if you're up to it.
♥ Step five: other people do the same thing to you! Maybe you even harvest your tl;dr to use in a CR chart later.
♠ Step six: keep checking back in so that no one is ever late!
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but anyway yeah how about ur brother who u killed even though im 100% sure of her feelings thanks to like all the talking we do AND THOSE LETTERS HECK U
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AND OKAY. So in the beginning, Mabel was super dependent upon Dipper. Aside from this being a new environment they were forced into moreso than the whole summer trip thing, it was very quickly becoming a terrifying one. Kidnapping, talks about the Chinese Mafia and how they could be trying to get to Grunkle Stan, being trapped with all of these strangers...it was really rough! And then don't even get me started on not being able to sleep at night because they were apart. Dipper is definitely no longer the only twin with bags under their eyes, even if his are probably hella worse.
But then they were all HELL YEAH MYSTERY TWINS WE'LL JUST SOLVE THIS and she was so proud of him and looked up to him so much. Just "YEAH yeah if we're working together we'll be fine! He'll get us through this no problem, he's so cool and good at this stuff. I bet we'll figure everything out with him on our team, definitely!" And she was so ready to work with him to learn all the mysteries and help save everyone. Like the way he viewed the situation - even if there were times where it was switched and he was down and needed her - really helped to keep her moving forward. And it also helped to lessen her fear, because they'd gotten through so many dangerous things before together and he'd always made sure she wasn't hurt that she just knew they'd come through okay. Especially after her fight with Nanami. That was just like "wow fuck you. I'll prove to you that we won't kill each other. We'd never betray one another, we're the best twins around and you can take that and shove it up your butt!"
AND THEN SHE WAS CONVERTED HAHAHAHAHAHA. And then she knew everything would be fine! Because this was all just a big game and they were just sleeping or whatever. So no big deal! And as much as she really wanted to keep Dipper around and keep talking to him and figuring stuff out, especially with what she knew, Mahiru was a problem! Helping out the buddy cops made her a big problem and made them both a huge target and she was a little hesitant of agreeing to kill them both! Because...well, even though she knew everything would be just fine, she didn't want to play the game without Dipper. She wanted to be able to tell him about what the murderfamily was doing, get his opinions on the other players' roles and buddies and play the game together! She wanted to convert him, but that just wasn't in the playing cards. Because she knew that Mahiru was a threat. And she knew that she and Dipper would probably spend a lot of time talking about eventually having to wake him up if he wasn't converted (which, clearly, he wouldn't be since it was basically all downhill for the murderfam from there). They'd probably sit around and actually plan out his murder and she was scared she wouldn't be able to go through with it later, because she knew Dipper would just get more and more scared and stressed about it thinking it was a real death...
So in the end, she agreed because she's selfish and also because she didn't want him to go through that. And oh boy the killing was so hard on her. Him being so scared and so disappointed in her...really that was the hardest part. Being angry or upset, she could understand that. It was him being disappointed in her that really hurt her. That really made her want to change her mind or get Ciel to come help instead because she didn't want him to be disappointed with her. She didn't want to be a failure in his eyes, and that's how she felt it was happening. "You always do this. I could have figured this out if you'd just talked to me." Etc etc.
Though she was also pretty upset with him too, because hey she didn't always do this and he also always did this too, but well. In the end that didn't matter. It was just a petty argument to try and make herself feel better about the situation but in actuality it just made her feel like shit.
And then the next day, all of that crying was probably seen as really good acting from anyone who knew she was mafia - or possibly after people figured it out - but a lot of it was real, because it was sort of hitting her that she wouldn't see him around anymore. He wasn't dead, but they were really split apart now. And that almost never happened to them basically. They were always together or if they were on their own, they pretty much always knew where to find each other. But now he was awake and wouldn't be in the park anymore, and she felt just so alone. Like half of her was just gone. He wouldn't meet her in the morning, they wouldn't eat breakfast together, there would be no dead body investigations where they bounce ideas off of each other. None of that anymore. And that was so hard for her to accept.
In the days after, she wrote those letters specifically to sort of pretend he was still there to talk to. To try and make it less lonely. Like, the other VIPs helped, and Ciel especially did, having known what it's like to lose your twin brother, but it was still so hard to cope with. So hence the letters and graveyard visits which I wanted to thread out way more of but lmao work. She took his vest, book and hat to also try and help with the loneliness aspect, but sadly she was not that kind of insane twin where she magically took on her dead twin's personality and felt they were ~together~ because of it. So ultimately all that did was made her smell like sweaty babywipes.
As more and more VIPs were hung or killed, the lack of having Dipper around was almost amplified because she was losing people to fill that void with. More and more nights after the night meetings were done she'd just kind of sit in her room and cry, or look through the journal to try and distract herself. She probably knows that journal just as well as he does now, honestly. She also just sort of wedged Ciel into his place. Not as a replacement, really, but as...a surrogate twin. She became super dependent on him, like she had been with Dipper, trusting him when he told her things would be okay and willing to go along with whatever plans he had, because they were probably very good plans! Even if they were all fueled by a dumb crocodile. And she could sort of pretend like it was the same thing, and it was really comforting! But there was still a deep pang from missing him.
And then that whole gunshow happened and that was crazy!! Finding Dipper in the park caught her so off guard. She literally had no idea what to think and momentarily was afraid that they'd somehow become zombies and had risen up from their graves. But at that point, no matter what her brainwashing wanted her to do, she just wanted to hug him and cry. Like, they probably could have easily sent in a fake Dipper to murder them all and Mabel would have been his easiest target, because she wouldn't have run. Likewise, if he really WAS a zombie, her brains would practically have been served to him on a silver platter.
And then the chips turned off and when all of the brainwashing went away, she just felt hella guilty. Even if they were right and everyone had woken up (albeit on the same damn island), all she could think about was how she killed him. She killed her brother. She made him suffer through poison for some dilusion put in her skull by whoever had kidnapped them. After all the promises they'd made and all the reassurances she'd asked from Dipper that he'd never hurt or kill her no matter what, she went and fucking killed him. And she just sort of...died inside. She'd completely betrayed him and there was nothing she could do to erase that or fix it. She couldn't even believe he wanted to find and rescue her at that point (though at the same time she could? It's one of those feelings where you don't want to believe it but yet you do) because she didn't deserve it. She was honestly a little scared that he hated her deep down, and even leaving the island she'd probably worry about that for a while. That secretly he'll still be angry at her for that.
But ultimately, in the end, she sort of forced herself to cheer up - which did in fact cheer her up a little - because she didn't want to be sad or angry or scared. She wanted to be Mabel and wanted him to be Dipper and wanted to laugh and do dumb and silly things and go home and chase monsters again without having to worry about what he's thinking or feeling about this whole ordeal.
And that is her crazy ride through murder land with Dipper. C8
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PS
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These suffering twins are the death of me....
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